I’m currently reading Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella, and it’s freaking me out. A bit of a spoiler here as I’ll need to let on the story to talk about the parts that freaks me out. In the book, Lexis Smart just woke from a car accident and lost her memory of the last 3 years of her life. As she goes about rediscovering herself, she realises that she has turned into someone she doesn’t like and never thought she will become. E.g. The bitch boss from hell, can hold a proper conversation about wine tasting (she didn’t even liked wine) and not bat an eyelid at buying a sofa that costs $10,000.
So, the book started me thinking. What will happen to me as I rise up the ranks and start dressing smarter, patronising more expensive places and start hanging out with people who’s main conversation topics revolve around traveling, stocks and business opportunities? Will I turn into someone I cannot recognise or someone that I have been trying very hard not to be so far? It freaks me out.
Attended an ex colleague’s baby shower yesterday and I just started asking my ex colleague whether he bought Genting stocks when it was only $0.40 previously. He would have made quite a bit now if he did. This topic stemmed from when another ex colleague mentioned that her husband is currently training to be a dealer for Resorts World. And visibly, I can see his wife flinching a bit when I mention that this very good money making opportunity was missed. Later on, she just seemed totally disinterested in having any kind of conversation with me. I’m not the kind of person who likes to hog a conversation, but I always try to fill the silence whenever no one is talking. Just to make it feel less awkward, you know? I also do this due to the nature of my work.
I continued reading the book after the baby shower and then I started to feel very freaked out. Have I turned into a snob unknowingly? Otherwise why would my ex colleague’s wife seem repulsed by me? I don’t want people to think that of me, because I am not like that. Spoke to a good friend at length this afternoon and it seems very clear what to do next. I need to hone my social skills such that I can make conversation with anyone and everyone and still project the correct impression. Another personal challenge. Gogogo.